Sleepwalker
by Ster J
Summary: Why is Spock walking in his sleep? Chapters 2 through 4 added, with special guest stars Sorel and Daniel Corrigan. Slashy!
1. Sleepwalking

Title: Sleepwalker

Author: Ster Julie

Codes: S, Mc

Rating: PG

Summary: Why is Spock walking in his sleep?

A/N: Inspired by one of my entries into J. Rosemary Moss' weekly caption contest: For God's sake, Jim, _don't_ wake up Spock! He's sleepwalking again.

--ooOoo--

"Spock, you look terrible!" Doctor McCoy observed.

"I haven't been able to sleep," Spock admitted.

"Since when?" McCoy asked as he ran a diagnostic instrument over the Vulcan.

"Since my sight was restored," Spock answered sheepishly.

McCoy's own internal diagnostic antennae rose at that admission.

"You usually sleep with your eyes open, right?" he continued.

"Yes, Doctor," Spock replied.

"And any change of lighting causes you to awaken, correct?"

Spock nodded, puzzled by McCoy's line of questioning.

"So what you do with the light on your shrine?"

"I extinguish it after my evening meditation."

"Uh-huh," McCoy grunted as sudden inspiration hit him. "Must make it mighty dark in your quarters then, eh, Spock?" The Vulcan nodded. "As dark as it was when you were blind?"

Spock pulled himself up straighter at that. "Are you suggesting that I am now afraid of the dark?" he said testily.

McCoy's demeanor gentled. "No, Spock, not afraid of the dark," he said quietly, "but I am certain that you may be afraid of being blind again."

Spock turned away from McCoy and shot the doctor a dark look over his shoulder. "Preposterous," he declared.

"Is it?" the doctor said softly.

"I am _not_ afraid."

"Not consciously, no," McCoy said, "but you can't control your dreams. You once told me that what you don't process though in your meditations you have to face in your dreams."* Spock nodded in response. "Your head may know that you are no longer blind, but your subconscious doesn't realize it yet, or it thinks the blindness may recur."

Spock lowered his head as he processed McCoy's answers. There was a modicum of logic in his arguments.

"Let me give you something to help you sleep," the doctor suggested. Spock shook his head. "Yeah, yeah, I know," McCoy continued. "You have a bad reaction to most of my magic potions. We'll keep an eye on you this first dose and see if you have any nasty reactions."

Spock allowed himself to be led to the isolation ward. He toed off his boots and reclined on the bed as McCoy got things ready. He prepared the medication, raised the temperature, lowered the lights, and put Spock on the sick list for the day.

"There now, sleep well, Spock" McCoy said as he pressed a hypo to Spock's arm. "No one will bother you, so call out if you need anything."

Spock was asleep before the doctor closed the door.

Nurse Chapel met McCoy as he re-entered the main ward.

"The captain just called," she relayed. "He would like to see you at your earliest convenience."

"Which means 'Haul your ass up here now,'" McCoy translated. He waved an arm toward the isolation ward as he moved to the corridor. "Spock is sleeping in the back. Make sure no one disturbs him."

-

McCoy found no emergency on the bridge, just a concerned captain who wanted to know why his exec was suddenly on the sick list. The doctor shared his findings quietly, then stayed a while longer to observe the bridge crew at work. He especially kept a close eye on the captain. Kirk had the unenviable job of shipping the remains of his brother and sister in law back to Earth, entrusting his young nephew to other Starfleet personnel--strangers, really--to reunite him with his older brothers and his grandmother after the tragedies on Deneva. He was still mopping up after the incident with the creatures and was not yet able to turn the relief efforts to the support teams. McCoy had urged him to take compassionate leave, but Kirk decided to bury his grief in his work.

Nearly an hour after McCoy arrived, the bridge doors opened. Spock slowly emerged, eyes closed, arms stretched out before him. He moved slowly, carefully. He slid his foot forward slowly, making his way by feel instead of sight.

Kirk was the first to reach him, calling out, "Spock! Spock? What's wrong?" He reached out to grab his friend's arm. McCoy rushed up.

"For God's sake, Jim," he whispered urgently, "_don't_ wake up Spock! He's sleepwalking."

Spock's hand encountered Kirk's chest. The captain eyed McCoy who shook his head. _Don't move,_ he mouthed. Spock walked his hands across Kirk's chest. McCoy insinuated himself between Spock and any perceived danger, like the stairs or control panels as Spock continued his circuit around the bridge. Finally, Spock's hands encountered McCoy. The Vulcan lowered himself into a chair and drew the doctor into his arms. He burrowed himself against McCoy's abdomen and fell asleep.

McCoy's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Who knew that Spock was a cuddler?

"I guess I need to adjust his dose," McCoy whispered sheepishly.

END

*Shameless reference to my story AFTER THE CREDITS: The Menagerie "Wet Dreams"


	2. Who’s that sleeping in my bed?

Chapter 2--_Who's that sleeping in my bed?_

"What the devil?!" McCoy exclaimed.

Spock sat bolt upright in bed, the covers falling from his body and revealing that he was nude and not in his own bed.

"What the blazes do you think you're doing, Spock?" McCoy continued as he threw the covers over Spock.

"_Ra pavesh-tor la'?"_ Spock grated as he rose from the bed, wrapping the sheet around himself.

"You tell _me_ what's happening, Spock!" McCoy answered harshly. "I was _alone_ when I went to sleep last night."

"I can't still be sleepwalking," Spock moaned. "You took me off the medication two days ago."

McCoy's face softened as he noticed the Vulcan's look of misery. "What's going on with you, Spock?" he said gently. "I can't help unless you tell me what is upsetting you so much."

"I don't _know_ what is wrong with me," Spock whispered harshly. "I just know that I haven't been myself since … since Omicron Ceti III."

McCoy's head shot up at that pronouncement. He had done full physicals on everyone after the visit to that planet. Everyone who had had minor organs removed, such as an appendix or tonsils, had been made whole. Any bone that had ever been broken no longer showed evidence of a break. Even Spock's femur, which had been crushed on the planetoid in the Murasaki quasar, seemed brand new. _Spock seemed his old self back then, but perhaps I missed something, _McCoy wondered.

"Look, Spock, let me run some tests on you," McCoy suggested. "Get dressed and we'll head down to Sickbay."

It was when Spock turned around and bent to retrieve his clothes from the floor that McCoy spotted two raised areas on his back. The swellings were on either side of his lower spine, about the size of chicken eggs.

"Hold it right there," the doctor ordered. He gently probed the two lumps, which caused Spock to jump. "Are they painful?" McCoy asked, worried that he had hurt Spock.

Spock moved to McCoy's dressing mirror and dropped the sheet to get a better look. That was when McCoy noticed something else that looked different. "And when did _those_ drop?"

Spock spun around and looked where McCoy was pointing. His scrotum was larger and more well defined. "Do I have a hernia?" the Vulcan asked as McCoy passed a scanner over Spock's groin.

"Nope," McCoy answered, "they are testicles, Spock. Normal, human, _functional _testicles." The doctor scanned Spock's lower back. "What are these?" he asked.

"They are normal, Vulcan, male gonads called _chenesi, _Doctor," Spock replied softly.

McCoy's mouth dropped in shock. "You have _four_ balls, Spock?" Spock shrugged sheepishly. "That explains why you have to fight off the ladies with a stick!"

"Would that also explain why I feel so odd?" Spock asked.

"I'm sure it would, Spock," McCoy replied. "I would have to run a blood test, but I'm sure your body is getting a double dose of male hormones now, thanks to those spores. But as to why you keep seeking me out in your sleep, I haven't a clue."

Spock blushed a delicate shade of green. "Perhaps I seek you out because I trust you to find out what is wrong with me," he suggested.

McCoy looked up at Spock in shock. "Why, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!" he declared.

Spock ducked his head shyly. "You always pull me through in the end, Doctor," he said quietly.

It was McCoy's turn to blush from the high praise. He bent to pick up Spock's uniform and handed it to him. "I hope these aren't too wrinkled," the doctor murmured.

Spock dressed in silence. The two men walked down the corridor to the turbo lift deep in thought.

For his part, McCoy was going over this startling news about Spock. The doctor was certain that he would have noticed such great changes in Spock's anatomy, but there had been the whole crew to process in such a few days that he could have been less thorough with Spock than he should have been.

On the other side of the lift, Spock was contemplating what all this might mean. Swollen _chenesi_ were a symptom of _pon farr,_ but Spock hadn't noticed any other symptoms. And if the space spores were the culprits, if they had been the one to restore both sets of his gonads, did they also make these gonads function properly? Was he now fertile?

"If this happened at Omicron Cert III, Doctor" Spock asked in the 'lift, "could Leila have conceived?"

"That all depends on if you're shooting blanks or not," McCoy replied. "Let's not count our chickens before they've hatched, Spock. Let's wait until we've run those tests."

Spock nodded. Speculation was useless. He would just have to wait.

-

Spock sat quietly in McCoy's office as the doctor poured over his test results. The Vulcan was wondering how he could discreetly contact his childhood physicians, Healer Sorel and Doctor Daniel Corrigan. Perhaps he was not going to escape the throes of _pon farr_ as he had hoped. He formulated the questions he needed answered as he waited.

McCoy finally raised his head. "Well, Spock," he drawled, "your hormone levels are elevated from your last blood chemistry workup. Now, I'll need to check your levels frequently until we establish a new baseline for you."

"How frequently?" Spock asked warily.

"Daily should be fine," McCoy reassured. "Then we can taper off to weekly, just to be sure." The doctor studied his patient, noticing the greenish flush to his cheeks and ears, the aura of edginess despite that perfect Vulcan façade. "What else can I do for you?" he asked.

"I need to call Vulcan and discuss this with my family physicians on Vulcan," Spock said quietly.

McCoy nodded. "Good idea," the doctor replied, "but if you're speaking of the famous team of Sorel and Corrigan, you won't find them on Vulcan. They are presenting at the quadrant medical conference at Starbase 11."

Spock looked up in surprise until he realized that McCoy would have read their names in his medical files, and that the doctor would have been attending the medical conference himself if not for the emergency on Deneva.

"Perhaps I can arrange time to see them in person," Spock suggested. "Thank you, Doctor," he said as he bolted from his chair to put his developing plan into action.


	3. An anchor in the darkness?

Ch. 3 -- An anchor in the darkness?

It took some doing, but Spock was finally able to take a shuttle to the starbase to meet with the physicians. He brought along two junior officers who needed piloting time. The pair would procure supplies to replace the ones used in their mercy mission on Deneva.

Spock waited for Healer Sorel and Doctor Daniel Corrigan in their suite. The pair were finishing the question and answer period to their last presentation. Spock tried to pass the time with meditation, then reading, then by simply staring at the spectacular view from the VIP suite. Nothing worked. He was still tense.

Spock finally threw himself on the comfortable couch and dozed off.

"My, but have grown since we last saw you!"

Spock lifted his head at the familiar voice. He should have been embarrassed that he had fallen asleep, but he was so overcome at the sight of his long time friends and confidantes that he forgot to squelch his emotions.

"Daniel!" he breathed as he allowed himself to be drawn into a bear hug by this human.

"Hey, Kid," Corrigan responded. "Been waiting long?"

"Three hours," Spock whispered as he pulled back.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Corrigan continued. "The Q and A ran way overtime."

"It is agreeable to see you, Spock," Healer Sorel remarked as Spock crossed the room to touch hands with the elder Vulcan. Since these two physcians were instrumental in helping Sarek and Amanda to conceive him, Spock considered them his co-fathers, although Corrigan preferred the term "Fairy godfather." However, Spock thought that appellation to be undignified so he refused to use it.

"Peace and long life, Sorel," he said.

"Live long and prosper," Sorel replied. "Now, how may we serve you?"

When Spock didn't answer at once, Corrigan stepped in and took Spock by the arm, "Couch or table?" he said simply. Spock indicated the table with a look. As the human led Spock to the table, Sorel stepped to the kitchen area and returned shortly with three glasses of water.

Spock stared at his clasped hands for a minute.

"The beginning is a good place to start, Kid," Corrigan murmured.

Spock launched into the tale of all he experienced on Deneva, how the cure had blinded him temporarily, of how he couldn't sleep after his sight was restored, of how the sleeping medication McCoy had given him had triggered bouts of sleepwalking, even after he stopped taking the medication.

"I realized that some of my symptoms had occurred months prior, after the events of Omicron Ceti III." Spock continued.

He launched into a new tale, of how the planet was bombarded by Berthold Rays, of how the spores from that plant protected the crew and even healed them of old scars, even regenerating previously removed minor organs. Spock told the physicians of how he started to feel different, almost unwell since then, and of how McCoy found astounding physical changes in him.

"Would you please examine me?" Spock asked quietly. "I want to know if you come to the same conclusions."

Sorel stood immediately and retrieve one of his own spare robes. Corrigan pulled out his medical bag.

"I never leave home without it," he replied to Spock's curious look.

Spock removed his uniform, and wrapped himself in the robe. "I want to show you these," he whispered as he showed the physicians the swellings on his low back, "and these," as he turned and showed his swollen scrotum.

Corrigan whistled low in response as he examined the testicles while Sorel gently observed the _chenesi._

"Doctor McCoy says that they are all fully functional," Spock stated.

Corrigan passed his medical scanner over Spock for several moments, reading the results and sharing them with Sorel.

"Your testosterone and your _sa-dau-tukh_ levels are both elevated," Corrigan reported.

"HasDoctor McCoy tracked your hormone levels over a period of time?" Sorel asked.

"Yes," Spock answered. "There has been a slow but gradual increase in the past ten days." Spock paused then blurted out, "Why was I made to have both sets of male reproductive organs? What was the logic in that?"

Sorel faced the agitated young man quietly.

"The logic is this, Spock," he began. "When we were assisting your parents in creating a child, they were concerned that you would not be able to continue the line. Had we left everything up to chance, the resulting child, if even viable, would have been sterile. Your parents wanted to give you every chance at a normal life, so they asked that we include the genes which would give you two sets of male gonads, one set Vulcan and the other Human. However, since you had not yet entered the Fires, we assumed that neither set produced viable spermatozoa." Sorel paused as he re-examined the swellings on Spock's back.

"That being said," Sorel continued, "upon further examination of your _chenesi, _I find that you are indeed entering into fertility. The Fires should be upon you within the next three months, perhaps sooner."

Spock raised frightened eyes to Sorel at his pronouncement.

"Fear not," Sorel soothed. "Thy bride will await thee."

"We have no rapport," Spock forced out. "I do not know if she will see me through the Time."

"Can you take extended leave?" Corrigan asked. "You really shouldn't be too far away from your fiancée at a time like this."

"I am in a position of authority on my ship," Spock replied. "I have many responsibilities that take precedence."

"To your _life?_" Corrigan responded.

"My ship is assigned to patrol this sector," Spock excused. "My captain will get me home in time. He would not let me die."

"You don't know that for certain!" Corrigan argued.

Spock, in a desperate attempt to control his emotions, suddenly shut himself down. Sorel observed Spock for several minutes.

"There is more," Sorel said quietly. Spock nodded. "Tell us," Sorel continued. "Here all is silence."

"I cannot put it into words," Spock whispered tightly, "for I do not understand it myself."

Sorel pulled his chair closer to Spock's seat. The elder Vulcan ran the back of his fingertips down gently from the crown of Spock's head to the backs of his hands. He repeated this action three times until he felt Spock relax. Slowly, so very slowly, Sorel positioned his fingers on Spock's face for a healing meld.

No words were spoken. Spock was familiar with Sorel's mind. They experienced Spock's sleepwalking together, ending up in McCoy arms or his bed each time. Sorel discovered Spock's jumbled thoughts, his doubts about his gender preference and his very identity. Sorel saw Spock's determination to remain with his ship even if doing so risked his sanity, his very life. Sorel explored Spock's emotions for this Doctor McCoy and saw them for what they were. He delicately probed Spock's bond with T'Pring, noting a memory of a distasteful exchange between them soon after their bonding ceremony. He noted Spock's fears and doubts toward T'Pring which would neither nurture nor sustain a marital bond. Sorel finally passed on to Spock the practical knowledge he would need to endure the _pon farr._ He helped Spock to formulate and order the questions he would need to answer for himself before he ever went to _Koon-ut Kalifee._

Sorel withdrew gently from the meld and withdrew to meditate briefly, processing all he learned.

Spock looked glumly at his hands. Corrigan watched him, finally edging him playfully until Spock looked up at him.

"Now, what can _I_ do to help, Kid?" he asked.

Spock squirmed, trying to summon the courage to voice his burning questions.

"How does a person know if he prefers intimacy with a male or a female?" he whispered.

"Whoa!" Corrigan responded. "What brought this on?"

"The last time I was sleepwalking," Spock explained, "I woke up in Doctor McCoy's bed. I was nude and … aroused. Before that, my … experiences had been with females. I have never had that kind of reaction to a male before. What would have caused that response in me?"

Corrigan thought awhile. "Tell me of this Leonard McCoy," he said at last.

"Leonard Hiram McCoy, chief medical officer of the USS _Enterprise,_" Spock recited. "He was born on Earth and studied medicine at …"

"No, no, no," Corrigan interrupted. "Tell me about the _person,_ not the job he has."

"Doctor McCoy calls himself 'just an old country doctor' and a 'Southern gentleman,'" Spock related. "Despite his fondness for strong drink, he does his job well. He has made many advancements in the area of biomedical research.""Do you work well together?" Corrigan interjected.

Spock bit back a smile. "We do tend to argue quite …"

"Vociferously?" Corrigan suggested.

"I was looking for a less emotionally charged word for 'passionately,' Daniel," Spock corrected.

"Meaning you argue like a couple of old married folk," Corrigan replied.

Spock merely raised a brow in response. "What I do know is this," he continued quietly. "Doctor McCoy is outstanding in his field. He has saved my life on several occasions. Beneath his gruff exterior is a very caring man."

"He certainly has made quite an impact on you, Spock," Corrigan said. "I hope I get to meet him one day."

"He took very good care of me when I was blind, Daniel," Spock murmured, "even thought he blamed himself."

Sorel rejoined the group.

"I have meditated on what I learned from the examining meld, Spock," Sorel began. "I conclude that you are indeed afraid, deeply afraid. This is not only due to your reactions to all you experienced on Deneva. What you experienced there only served as a catalyst to bring your fears to the fore."

"Surak told us to cast out fear," Spock whispered.

Sorel nodded. "True, but I believe that in this case, you cannot cast out the fear you cannot name. I cannot help you with that, Spock. You must discover the source of this fear yourself. Once you name it, it will no longer have such a death grip on you.

"I also examined your marriage bond" Sorel continued. "It is weak from being ignored, but it is still present. You should be able to contact T'Pring when your Time comes.

"However, I also noticed a confusion regarding gender preference," Sorel said quietly. "I cannot answer that for you, Spock. You must find your own answers. Your attraction to Doctor McCoy may just be gratitude for his care in your time of blindness. Or he may have become your anchor in the darkness. As I said before you will have to answer that for yourself."

Spock lowered his gaze. "I will have to answer that soon," he murmured, "before I am drawn to T'Pring."

"Don't rush through this, Spock," Corrigan said urgently. "Don't force the issue and choose one way or the other _right _now because your hormones are kicking into high gear. This confusion you're feeling may simply mean that you are bi."

"I do not understand," Spock replied.

Corrigan settled into his teaching stance. "Imagine a ruler," he began, holding out his hands as if holding such an item. "One end represents those who are strictly heterosexual. The other end represents those who are strictly homosexual." Corrigan motioned between the two imaginary points. "There's a lot of room on the ruler in between those points. The vast majority of people fall somewhere in the middle. Those who are equally attracted to both makes and females alike are called bisexual."

"And you think I'm 'bi,'" Spock responded.

Corrigan shook his head and said, "I don't know. Only you can answer that."

Spock studied his hands a moment. "I seem to have more questions now than when I first arrived," he observed.

"But those questions are now better organized, Spock," Sorel corrected. "You have to go deep into your self and identify your fear. Only then can healing begin."

"I know one fear," Spock admitted. He cast his gaze skyward. "I am afraid of _pon farr!_" He took a deep breath and grated, "I fear rejection by T'Pring."

"Take control of that fear, Spock," Sorel ordered sternly. "T'Pring is pledged to you. There is only one way she can sever the bonds that will draw you to Koon-ut Kalifee, and even one as she would not dare the Challenge. Take charge of the situation. Reach out to her with your mind. Do not accept rejection. Call to her, and if she tries to reject you, put her in her place. Tell her you will very soon seek her out, and that you will expect her to honor the pledge she made long ago."

Corrigan watched his friend slack jawed. "Sorel, have never seen you get so worked up before," he observed.

"I know Spock's intended, Daniel," Sorel replied. "She was over-indulged all her life and grew up to be what you would call a bully. She needs to be taught proper behavior."Corrigan smiled. "And it has nothing to do with the fact that Spock is our boy, and no one messes with our boy, right?"

"Indeed."

Spock looked from Corrigan to Sorel and almost smiled with warm affection. These two were more than his physicians. They where closer to him than blood relatives. They were his champions and warriors. Spock felt so accepted, so cherished by these two men. He knew that they accepted him unconditionally and wanted only the best for him. Spending time with them always gave him a great deal of peace.

Spock bade his physicians, his _friends, _a warm farewell and returned to the shuttle.


	4. After the burning

Chapter 4--After the burning

"I'm sorry to call you so late, Doctor," Nurse Chapel apologized softly to McCoy. "Mr. Spock came here and went straight to your office. He stared at your empty desk chair for a long while, then moved to a bed in the back and went to sleep. I wasn't sure if he was sleepwalking again, so I let him be and called you."

"Thank you, Chris," McCoy replied. "Bring me the results of his last physical."

"Right here, Doctor," she replied as she handed McCoy a padd and scanner. McCoy smiled at his head nurse's efficiency, not really that surprised.

"I'll call you if I need anything else, Chris," he said softly, dismissing her gently.

"Yes, Doctor," she replied, retreating quietly.

McCoy turned to the reclining Vulcan who was sprawled on the bio bed, not quite on his stomach, not quite on his side. There was a tenseness in his body that did not fool McCoy.

"We're alone now," McCoy announced. "You can stop playing possum."

"I am not playing possum," Spock replied.

"So what brings you here?" McCoy asked as he ran the scanner over Spock.

"My back hurts," he whispered.

McCoy ran the scanner over Spock's back as he remarked, "That's not surprising. You were slammed into the ground a couple of times.""I don't remember any of the battle," Spock answered in a small voice. "I regained awareness only to find Jim's face, his very still face at the end of my _ahn-woon_." The Vulcan turned his head to look at McCoy. "I was never so … glad to have you there. I wasn't going to ask you at first to attend.""Why not?" McCoy asked.

"I didn't think I could marry that woman if the one I truly wanted was so close at hand," Spock grated. "But my body was betraying me. My heart wanted you, but the bond was pulling me toward T'Pring. I needed your quiet strength to give courage."McCoy was surprised. "But, Spock, you're the bravest man I know!" he exclaimed.

Spock dropped his gaze. "You may want to reassess your opinion of me after today.

McCoy smiled gently. "Hardly. You were ready to marry that pit viper who made my ex-wife look like a lamb. If that's not courage, I don't know what is."

Spock reached out and touched McCoy's arm. "Thank you for saving Jim today."

"I had to," McCoy admitted. "You'd never be able to live with yourself had he really died."

"Indeed," Spock replied.

McCoy checked Spock's new readings and harrumphed. "Well, you have some bruising, but nothing broken. These gonad things are still mighty swollen. Is that going to be a problem?"

Spock blushed. They would have been emptied had T'Pring not challenged, had they gone to the joining place and sealed their bond in the customary manner.

"I will handle it," Spock said, blushing further as McCoy reacted to his unintended pun.

"I might as well come with you, Spock," McCoy said, "otherwise you'll just end up in my bed again." He gave Spock a dose of painkiller before allowing him off of the biobed. "Say, did your doctors ever discover why you were sleepwalking and why you always ended up with me?"

Spock's eyes crinkled in amusement.

"Obviously, Leonard, you are the man of my dreams."

END

A/N--Thank you to Jean Lorrah for her original characters of Healer Sorel and Doctor Daniel Corrigan, and to the Vulcan Language Dictionary for that one line of Vulcan, which translates as, "What's going on?"


End file.
